For Parents

Interview with Psychotherapist Amy Morin, Author of 13 Things Strong Kids Do

Anyone have a time machine?

For all of us who ever said, “I wish I’d known then, what I know now,” the Mixed Up Files has a special treat. Psychotherapist Amy Morin, LCSW, has put a middle-grade twist on her adult series13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do, and 13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do—to create 13 Things Strong Kids Do. It presents different scenarios along with constructive activities to help kids start thinking in new ways … and I’m researching ways to send it back in time to my 13-year-old self!

Welcome, Amy!

Sean McCollum: I wish I’d had a book like 13 Things Strong Kids Do when I was in middle school! Its information and exercises might have given me the tools to sidestep some of those self-defeating adolescent mistakes or given me the tools to better handle them. How did the idea for this book come about?

Amy Morin: So many of my adult readers said the same thing—they wished they had been able to learn about mental strength when they were young. So I wanted to write a book that would teach kids how to start building mental strength so they can develop skills and tools that will continue to serve them well throughout their whole lives.

The author as an MGer. 🙂

 

SMc: Would you be willing to share an anecdote from your own teen years about a time you weren’t “strong,” and how advice from this book might have helped?

AM: Well, many of the stories in my book stem from my own childhood. There were plenty of times I wasn’t strong. One example is when I quit playing the saxophone after one day! I was in the sixth grade and I only went to one lesson before I decided it was going to be too hard for me. I could have used several exercises from the book to help me persist—like creating my own catchphrase or writing myself a kind letter. Those types of things would have helped me drown out all those negative thoughts I had about not being able to do it.

SMc: How might educators and other professionals use this title in their schools and classrooms?

AM: This book gives adults a common language to use with kids. When an educator or a professional asks, “Is that a BLUE thought or a true thought?” it’s a reminder to a child that they can take action to change their own thinking.

Adults can empower kids when they understand the skills and tools kids have at their disposal. Rather than taking responsibility for creating change, professionals can encourage kids to do it on their own with a little guidance.

My hope is that professionals will use the book as a guide so they better understand how to reinforce healthy thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in kids.

SMc: Could you share three “healthy habits” our readers could put to use right now?

AM: Label your feelings. When you name how you’re feeling, like sad or angry, you’ll instantly feel just a little bit better. Research shows labeling our emotions helps our brains make a little more sense of things and it reduces our stress.

Ask yourself if your feelings are a friend or an enemy. Any feeling can be a friend sometimes—even sadness or anger. After all, being sad might help you honor something you lost and being angry might give you courage to speak up for someone else. But, those feelings can be an enemy when they cause you to get into trouble or keep you from having fun in life. If your feeling is a friend, embrace it. If it’s an enemy, take steps to change how you’re feeling.

Change the channel in your brain. When you’re thinking about something that causes you to feel awful—like that mean thing someone said—change the channel in your brain. Dance to some music, sing a song, or read a joke book. That will change the channel in your brain and help you stop thinking about things that cause you to feel bad.

SMc: Do you recall a favorite middle grade book and any life lessons it taught you?

AM: I loved reading Judy Blume’s books. Blubber was my favorite. It helped me see that growing up is tough for everyone and I wasn’t alone in many of the things I was thinking and feeling.

SMc: Do you practice the exercises in this book?

AM: Yes, even though I’m no longer a kid, I find the exercises really helpful! Whether I’m calming my brain and my body when I’m nervous or I’m trying to face my fears one small step at a time, the skills that work for you when you’re young will help you when you’re grown too.

To follow Amy Morin and her life-helping work, check out:

Thanks so much for making to time to speak with us, Amy!

Readers, remember to enter our Rafflecopter raffle for Amy’s book. (This one is for American readers only.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Indie Spotlight: Children’s Bookstores Survive !

Madison Duckworth and owner Susan Selfors at Liberty Bay Books, Bainbridge Island

In spite of the challenges of Pandemic closures, children’s  bookshops have found creative ways and generous friends to help them stay in business. When COVID became pandemic, those following the book business assumed that widespread unemployment would mean a decline in book sales. They weren’t counting on people stuck at home doing their own cooking or repairs and wanting to know how. People curious about other pandemics in history or, in response to the Black Lives Matter protests, about African American history,  and racial injustice. Most of all, they underestimated the desperation and determination of people staying home with their out-of-school children!

The good news is that book sales actually went up in 2020 ,  and that the biggest increase was in children’s books. The not-so-good news is that most of that business has gone to Amazon.  The online giant has  been thriving while independent bookshops have struggled and sometimes gone under.

With COVID restrictions, everything that defines bookshops, everything they do best. was now impossible. At heart a bookstore is a place. A place where people can go to browse at leisure, talk about books. and get recommendations from booksellers.  Booksellers who have curated their collections and know their customers and communities. It is a place to attend community events, classes, author talks, book clubs, concerts. Now that their doors were ordered closed, how could independents survive?

One answer is: with a little help from their friends! As he has in the past, bestselling author James Patterson has made a generous donation to help bookstores survive the crisis. Early on, he launched #SaveIndieBookstores, a partnership with the American Booksellers Association and the Book Industry Charitable Foundation. He personally  contributed $500,000 for grants to bookstores. “I’m concerned about the survival of independent bookstores, which are at the heart of main streets across the country,” Patterson said. “I believe that books are essential. They make us kinder, more empathetic human beings. And they have the power to take us away — even momentarily — from feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and scared.”

Many stores issued pleas to their regular customers to  shop online or making donations.   Fortunately, communities love their bookstores. The GoFundMe for Hicklebee’s in San Jose (www.hicklebees.com), for example, saw 1,000 people give $80,000 in just over 24 hours. Hicklebees also partnered with the Santa Clara Office of Education to create a “Keep Kids Reading” book drive for hundreds of families in need.

Indy bookstore owners are nothing if not imaginative and adaptable. The 2020 mantra of Maureen Palacios, co-owner of Once Upon a Time Bookstore (www.shoponceuponatime.com) in Montrose, California, was

“Try Anything.” Her shop arranged FaceTime appointments with staff who would take customers on a virtual tour of the shop and help them select books. They also made some popular videos featuring their stuffed toys. Other shops persuaded well-known authors, who normally command a fee for an appearance, to do free virtual author visits. Many other activities, such as book clubs and classes, were more or less convertible to online.

Of course every independent bookstore had to up its online ordering business to keep going. Many shops went from being gathering places to feeling more like fulfillment and shipping warehouses, with maybe some curbside pick-up sales. Yet here bookshops caught a break. Amazon, called upon to ship increasing volume of goods during the pandemic, decided books were not essential items and gave them lower priority. This probably tells you all you need to know about them as a bookseller. Books were still cheaper from Amazon, but no longer could you count on them being delivered in a couple of days. Who knew? It might be a couple of weeks or more.

Aha, an opportunity! Many shops had already taken to delivering to the door locally, but now they had an edge. Jim Morgan of The Curious Reader (www.curiousreaderbooks.com) in Glen Rock, New Jersey, has sometimes spent 2 hrs. on the road. He tells customers: “If you order from us and we have it in stock, you’ll have it that afternoon.” That’s music to the ears of the mother of a restless 7-year-old weary of online school. Location, location. Some shop owners wondered if they weren’t spending more money on gas than they were making in sales. But they were often rewarded with thank you notes, snack bags, and cookies. And future loyal customers.

Then even independent shops started having trouble delivering specific titles in a timely way. A paper shortage developed, and many publishers started deceasing print runs and putting off publication dates.  So titles in demand
weren’t always easy to get. But book stores still had plenty of good books in stock. So some expanded and emphasized their book subscription services, choosing and mailing a couple of appropriate books each month for all reader levels. Eyeseeme (www.eyeseeme.com) of University City Missouri’s selections are all under $25, and billing is monthly.

Hipocampo Children’s Books (www.hipocampochildrensbooks.com) of Rochester New York had only been in operation for a year when the shutdown hit. Fortunately, they had already built a loyal community following because of their unique mission. Owners Henry Padron and Pamela Baile stock children’s books in 14 languages, plus a small collection of adult books in Spanish and English. Of course with the shutdown, they could no longer host the dance lessons and cultural and folklore workshops they liked to hold on site.  But they were able to move some events to Facebook Live. And now that they have been allowed to open again, they have a clever way of assuring social distancing. They’ve taken out all the seating in the shop and placed hula hoops around the floor.

April 24, 2021 is National Independent Bookstore day. Let’s all celebrate this year by un-chaining ourselves. Amazon is going to thrive no matter what. To make a real difference, buy books in person or online from the folks who really know and care about books, and who create wonderful places for us to find the books we love. When you shop at an independent bookstore, you support a community. And in the long run, sales of carefully curated books at independent shops actually help to determine the quality of books that will get published.

Just looking for a huge selection of books where you’re likely to find almost any specific title you’re looking for in stock? You still don’t have to resort to the Big A. Go to Powell’s Books in Portland Oregon (www.powells.com), the largest independent book store in the world. Powell’s offers a vast selection of new and used books both in its physical stores (they’re open now) and online.

Soon we’ll all be able  to enjoy our favorite bookstores in person.  Let’s support them now so they will still be there when we do go.  Want to locate an independent children’s bookstore near you or a new one to explore online?  Go to: indiebound.org/indie-store-finder.

Interview with Jackson Bostwick, Captain Marvel in the Shazam TV series

Hello Mixed-Up Filers!

We’re in for a real treat today! Growing up, Saturday morning TV was an event. I woke up early to watch all the cartoons and shows for kids, and one of my favorites was Shazam! Well, I’m excited to say that I recently I got the chance to speak to the Captain Marvel from that series, Jackson Bostwick! So, please help me welcome him to Mixed-Up Files!

Hi Jackson, thanks for joining us today!

JR: To start with, how did you first get into acting?

JB: I never thought I was going to be an actor when I was in college. I was in pre-med. My dad was a neurosurgeon and I was in pre-med at the University of Alabama. My major was Biology, minored in Physics and Chemistry, could’ve triple minored in Psychology and if you’d have told me I was going to be an actor in my life, I’d have said you’re a damn fool.

I did not try anything until I was in the Army. I went through ROTC at Alabama because when I was at college, we were in the middle of the Vietnam War and they had the draft. I knew I was not going to go in as a grunt, so I took ROTC because I wanted to go in as an officer. So I’m, I’m in the army, and after twenty weeks I was at Fort Sam Houston and a medical supply officer. And funny, they give you a choice of what you could be, you know which branch you wanted to go in. Well, I had infantry first, artillery second and medical third because of my medicine. So, they gave me my third. Anyway, I was a medical supply officer and later, I’m stationed in Southern California, in charge of the hospital at Fort Irwin.

Anyway, one day I get a postcard in the mail that says, “We’d like to see you for an interview.” It was The Dating Game. I go in and say, “Which one of you guys sent my name?” They said, “Oh, lieutenant, you’ve got to go.”

I went down, did great in the interview. I had them rolling.  And they made me wear my uniform. I was bachelor number one. I didn’t get it, but backstage, I’m approached by this guy, and he said, “Have you ever thought about getting into acting?” He introduced himself. His name is Phil Benjamin. He was in charge of casting at Universal. And I said, “I ain’t never done a thing in my life.” I had that southern accent. He said, “Well, why don’t you see about getting some training and then come look me up?” So, I get back to Fort Irwin, I call my dad, I said, “Dad, this guy came back, da da da da. Do you think I ought to give it a shot?” He said, “Well, as long as you’re continuing your schooling, okay, go ahead.”

I went to USC to study acting and was one of the original members of their MFA program.

JR: That’s amazing! I read that you were a big reader of the Captain Marvel comics as a kid. What was it that drew you to Captain Marvel as opposed to some of the more famous heroes like Superman and Batman?

JB: You have a little kid that can say a magic word and he can take care of business, becomes a superhero. Plus, the way they were drawn was fun, and had all these great villains. Mr. Mind, King Kull, Captain Nazi and of course, Silvana.

 

All of this was fun to read. That’s why it outsold Superman. That’s why DC sued them.  It reminded me of the shows I used to like, The Lone Ranger, Tarzan, and The Shadow.

JR: I read that later you actually became friends with Clayton Moore?

JB: We were very good friends. In fact Clay even approached me at one time when he was having problems with this the mask thing. And I kept encouraging him, because I had the same problem when Filmation fired me. I said, just let the fans do the talking. Don’t worry about it. Just get Gucci glasses and go out. He was constantly calling me. He wanted me to play him in his life story. Then, they made a Lone Ranger remake in 1981, but they got Klinton Spilsbury instead, and  dubbed the entire movie, Stacey Keach’s brother, James Keach was the voice of the lone ranger because Klinton’s voice was too high.

Clay also told me the story about the time that he stopped on the side of the road to help somebody. He’d just come from an appearance and he still had the costume on. This is the same story that Jay Thomas told on David Letterman.

(JR: If you’ve never seen the Jay Thomas/Lone Ranger story on Letterman, go YouTube it immediately after reading this. VERY funny)

JR: How did you first get involved with the show Shazam?

JB: Well, again, you just hang in there. I just graduated from USC, I was not feeling real good. I just broke up with a girl, and I called my friend out at Disney Studios, Bill, and I said, “Man, I need to get an agent or something like that.” He said, well, what about Jack? And I said, “Well, I went out there about, I dunno, three or four, five months ago and dropped off pictures and never heard from him.” He said, “Let me give him a call.” Thirty minutes later, I get a call from the head of casting at Disney. A couple of weeks later, I get a call from them, saying they want me to go out to this place in the Valley, Filmation studios. And it’s for a Captain Marvel cereal. So I’m thinking this is like Captain Crunch or something. It’s a cereal, you know? So, I dress in my normal cattle call uniform, t-shirt, jeans and cowboy boots, and I head on out there.

I drive along, I’d never been to the Filmation Studios, wherever it was, and I said, “Well, here’s the address,” and I drove right up and parked in front. You never have that happen on an interview, on these cattle calls. You’re lucky if you can find one two blocks away because everybody’s there. I go inside, there’s nobody there. I sit down, and a guy comes out and introduces himself. He’s a producer. You never meet the producer on interviews. It’s usually a casting person and this is before they start filming you. They later start putting you on tape and stuff. This is where you just go in and do a cold reading and they talk to you.

So, I go inside and during the conversation, and as I’m talking with him, I’m realizing this is Captain Marvel, the comic books my mom threw out when I was in college. I had them all. Really, a fortune.

JR: Unbelievable

JB: Anyway, I said, “Listen, I will bust my butt to make this a hit. It was my favorite.” I was in great shape back then, Jonathan. I was 6’3, weighed 217, I could hack squat with 600 pounds. Judo, karate, all of it. I studied with Dan Inosanto, who was Bruce Lee’s best friend, and also Chuck Norris.

JR: WOW!

JB: Later, he told me,  “Jackson, did you notice the guy sitting in Farmer John’s in the foyer as you walked by? Did you notice him?” I said, “No, not really. I did, but I didn’t.” He said, “As you went by, the guy said, ‘Wow, there goes Captain Marvel. You know who that was?” I said, “No.”

He said, “That was Mark Harmon.” He had just graduated from UCLA, star quarterback. He was in the final four for Captain Marvel. We’d been looking for four months for our Captain Marvel. First it was an athlete, then it was athlete that was an actor. We were finally back to actors that were athletes. He said, “When I heard that, I knew you were in. I already knew you were in, but when I heard that, that cinched it.” That’s how I got it.

JR: That’s such a great story! You had already been in several other productions prior to the show, but now you were one of the leads. How did that feel? Were you nervous?

JB: No. Don’t forget I had a Master’s degree from USC. They had me doing Shakespeare, Chaucer, I mean Chekhov and Shaw and all of those unbelievable plays back there.

JR: The show had some differences with the comic, was that addressed at all?

JB: Jonathan, I was on them so much about this stuff. They’d ask, “Jackson, is there a clever thing that Captain Marvel can say?” I said, “What’s wrong with Holy Moley?” He said, “That’d be perfect.” I made sure the costume was done perfectly, and it was handmade from the shoes up. Those were handmade leather boots that fit me. The cape was pure silk. Heavy as lead.

I also said, “You just don’t see enough of Captain Marvel. He doesn’t have to just come in and clean up all the time, you can have him come in at the first of the show. The other thing is, you need to have the hero come back and talk with the kids, like The Lone Ranger.  He said, “Well, they don’t want to do it. They don’t want to give up 60 seconds of commercial time.” Then, the fan mail was unbelievable and it was about a month after the screening, of the first show in ’74, and he comes back and says, “Well, they’ve decided to go ahead and put tags in.”

I did 15 shows the first year. We went out and we shot all 15 of those tags in one day-

JR: I read that you did all your own stunts. Do you remember any in particular that worried you?

JB: They all worried me. (Laughs) I think the most dangerous one that I can think of was when I drill into the ground for water and they had me hanging by my heels or by my feet on a 500 pound piano wire and they hauled me up 30 feet in the air and all I’m looking at is this hole in the ground with my safety man down there. What is he going to do? I’m going to go down there and just smash. I think the most dangerous one was when I’m on top of the motor home having to stop it because it’s like riding on a bowl of Jell-O. The springs in those things were very lackadaisical, they’re not stiff at all and I didn’t have anything to attach me up there. They put a strap along my feet. Anyway, that was the most dangerous thing.

 

JR: Oh, wow

JB: The only one I didn’t do was wrestle with the lion, because I knew no matter how they were raised, an animal was still wild. Look what happened to Siegfried and Roy. All this tiger was trying to do is do what he does to his cubs, pick him up by the scruff of the neck and haul him away and that’s what he did but didn’t realize that he was hurting him. He wasn’t trying to kill him or anything. He was trying to move him out of harm’s way.

JR: Did DC Comics have any involvement with the show?

JB: Zero. Well, okay, the involvement is the PC-ing of it. We couldn’t throw any punches, we couldn’t put any kids in danger. We couldn’t do anything like this. We only had a $70,000 show budget. This was way before all this CGI stuff and everything.

We were flying by the seat of our pants to get this thing done right and to make it look halfway good. I’m having to sell these stunts like stopping a car and all this stuff. Had to make it look like it was so hard to sell it because that was all we had. If we just did it so easily, it wouldn’t mean anything to the kids. We were restricted by this PhD from UCLA who was a psychologist who would have to approve every stupid little thing that we did.

JR: During the second season, you were replaced, and another actor took over the role. Can you tell us about that?

JB: I was injured doing the show. That year, everything was just going crazy, and things just weren’t going real smooth. I even had a conversation with Lou Schweimer and Norm Prescott, the producers. Prescott was just a bad egg.

I injured myself doing a takeoff. They made me do it twice. I never did it twice. I could’ve flown that thing in, it was so easy, had it down. I did it perfect the first one. Second one, this new director, never heard of him, came up and they called me out 7:30 in the morning in the valley to do one takeoff. I wasn’t even doing anything else in the day. Bob, the regular director,  would never have done that. He would’ve had me up at least just before lunch or something. Never at the first thing, 7:30 in the morning. Anyway, what happened was, he did not check the stunt boxes and they lost their integrity after the first takeoff and landing. the corner, caught my eye on the corner of the boxes and of course, anytime you stiffen cardboard up, it’s as strong as wood, and I got caught and it tore at my eye. So, there’s no way I could film the next day anyway.

The nurse gave me an ice pack, which they later had her change her story, and she said, “No, there’s nothing wrong here.” When I didn’t show up the next day to get it checked out, they fired me. In the arbitration that we had, I showed pictures, because when it happened, I said, “Oh, we got to get a shot of this. Captain Marvel with a mouse under his eye.” I had this big ice pack on, so they take a close up of me on my own camera. So, here I am on film, with a big smile and I got this huge black and blue under my eye because it busted a blood vessel.

Well, as soon as we showed that in the arbitration, they had to pay me for all the shows they didn’t use me on plus residuals.

JR: That is great! Good for you. 

JB: They killed that show. John Davey, God love him, he’s no more Captain Marvel than I am Wonder Woman.

JR: Even watching back then, I was like, “Hey, what’s going on?” Even when I was a kid, I was like, “Why’d they change?”

JB: Prescott said the kids will never know the difference. The kids are the first ones that’ll know the difference. Anyway, it worked out for me, but it killed the show.

JR: Did you watch the show at all after you left?

JB: Oh no. No, I didn’t. Didn’t bother with it. I’ve never seen an episode with him.

JR: I don’t blame you. Now, I read that you weren’t a huge fan of the movie. Why not?

JB: Yeah, I have no use to see that movie. All I got to do is see the trailer. They took an absolutely iconic character and made a buffoon out of him. That guy is a comedian.

JR: If you come across the show now at all, your old episodes, do you sit down and watch them?

JB: On Blu-ray. They’ve got them out on Blu-ray.

JR: Now going back to the Shazam movie, has anyone approached you at all about appearing in it, the sequel at all?

JB: No. Not at all. They wanted me to be in this alternate universe one.

JR: Oh, did they? The Crisis on Infinite Earths?

JB: Yeah. Oh yeah, they wanted me to wear the costume. I said, “You guys drunk? Do you know how old I am? I’m not going to put it on.” Then I asked, “What are you going to call me?” Am I going to be known as Captain Marvel? They said, “Oh, we don’t know yet.” They couldn’t tell me. First of all, DC comes up with this sad excuse because of merchandising and stuff. They don’t want to have confusion, because they let Marvel take the name Captain Marvel, so that’s why DC changed it to Shazam. They can use Captain Marvel, they can’t just use it in the title, but they can use it in the text and yet they still avoided it.

JR: That’s a shame.

JB: Absolutely.

JR: You worked for Disney several times in the 70’s and early 80’s, including the cult classic Tron. What was it like working for Disney in general, and your memories of Tron in particular?

JB: I was involved with 13 films out of Disney. Cat from Outer Space, Apple Dumpling Gang, Devil and Max Devlin, Secret of the Lost Valley, a bunch of it. This was back when it was a family studio. This was back when the husband of the Disney heir was head of the studio and it was a family. If you worked in one movie at Disney, you would work in the others. They would use you over and over. It was a family studio, just a pleasure to work with and Bill Shepherd, I was good friends with Bill. It was just amazing to be able to work out there. I worked on Tron and I’m the head guard, but I even have a hard time spotting where I am. The only way I can do it is when I’m pushing Jeff around or I’m with Stark all the time, the head bad guy.

 

JR: How often do you do comic cons?

JB: Well, I was doing quite a few of them. That’s bringing up what we’re going to do in the future. A friend of mine is building, it’s almost complete, a Big Red Cheese-Mobile from Shazam, and you have to see this thing. I mean, they took my old ’73 Imperial that I still had, 440 Magnum engine in it and they converted it into this thing. It’s a showstopper. We’re going to go to car shows and we’re going to go to Comic-Cons and stuff like this now with that there to be able to get a picture in that. I mean, people will line up to get a picture with this thing. It’s spectacular.

JR: How often do fans reach out to you? 

JB: I’ve got, jeez, I don’t know how many thousands of fans, friends I have on there. It’s amazing. They all reach out and say Happy Birthday, or Merry Christmas.

JR: Since we’re a site devoted to children’s books, what was your favorite childhood book?

JB: I loved Jack London. I love To Build a Fire, one of his short stories. I love Ambrose Bierce, The Incident at Owl Creek Bridge. Those kind of stories. I was a lot into Poe, The Tell Tale Heart and those kind of stories. The Cask of Amontillado, all these things I I used to read. I was a big fan of the books like Ivanhoe or Robin Hood and anything that had adventure in it. Jack London was my favorite author.

JR: With many people loving Shazam, what was your favorite show or movie growing up?

JB:  Oh, The Lone Ranger was mine.

JR: I read that you were doing a memoir of your time with Shazam. What’s the status with that?

I just finished with the third draft. I’m going back now and going through and editing, rehashing. It’s called Myth, Magic, and the Mortal. The myth of course is the Captain Marvel thing, the magic is to be able to change to it and then the mortal is me playing the part.

Got plenty of pictures. It’s a great read. It really is a good read. I think people will really enjoy it, so I’m trying my best to get it organized now into chapters where I have the early part of my life, which I briefly go through to set people up, and then you got into acting and to USC and then to get me into the show. I go through every episode and explain how I did every stunt in every episode.

JR: I can’t wait to read it! What else are you working on now?

JB: Finishing up my book, and also a movie that I did called Bloody Mary Lite. It’s a fun little thing. You can look up the trailer on YouTube.

JR: How can people follow you on social media?

www.JacksonBostwick.com

JR: Mr. Bostwick, I thank you again for joining us today. It was a real pleasure to speak to you! 

 

Well, Mixed-Up Filers, that’s it for now. Hope you enjoyed reading all about Captain Marvel! Until next time . . .

Jonathan