It’s back to school time! For many students, teachers, and parents, this part of the year brings a mixture of excitement and anxiety, so it’s the perfect time to dig into a middle grade selection all about dealing with those “freak out” moments. Dr. Carla Naumburg was kind enough to chat with me about her new book, How to Stop Freaking Out: The Ultimate Guide to Keeping Cool When Life Feels Chaotic. Carla is a clinical social worker and the author of five books, including the bestselling How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids and its middle-grade companion How to Stop Freaking Out. Her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, CNN, and Mindful Magazine, among other places.
Her newest book is a fantastic read, with plenty of tips and tricks we’ve already put to good use in my house! Our interview is below, and be sure to check the book out here — its out everywhere tomorrow!
Chris: Thanks so much for taking some time to talk with me! Let’s start with your background as a clinical social worker…how did you make the leap from that career into writing?
Carla: I would actually say I made the leap from writing into clinical social work. I’ve wanted to write books since I was eight years old… or maybe younger! I took a psychology elective in high school, which led to a psychology degree in college, which led to my masters and PhD in clinical social work. But I never stopped thinking about writing books, and when I became a mother, my clinical background and parenting experience led to the publication of my first book in 2014… and I haven’t looked back since!
Chris: I get it! When you have a writer inside you, it always finds its way out eventually! So
this book is actually a middle-grade companion to a book you wrote for grown-ups with similar themes. How did this project evolve from that original concept?
Carla: How to Stop Freaking Out explores the same information, ideas, and practices for managing your emotions as the parenting book you linked to above, but without the salty language and with many more illustrations! The idea for this book came from my amazing agent, Gillian MacKenzie. The minute she suggested a middle-grade version, I knew she was right. Kids freak out just as often as adults, and we all need help figuring out how to stay calm when life gets overwhelming.
Chris: Most of us probably have our own personal definition of a “freak out”, but how would you explain freaking out as it relates to the ideas in the book?
Carla: I use the acronym F.A.R.T. to help readers figure out if they’re freaking out. Our explosions are fueled by strong Feelings, they’re Automatic and Reactive, and, perhaps most importantly, our freak outs go Too far. I go into more detail in the book, but hopefully this silly acronym can help readers identify their freak outs and remember not to take themselves too seriously.
Chris: You can never go wrong with fart references in middle grade — love the acronym 🙂 As a lot of our readers know, writing and publishing can sometimes feel chaotic and stressful. Have you ever had to use any the techniques from the book in your life as an author?
Carla: All the time! Some of my favorite habits for preventing freak outs include: doing whatever I can to get enough sleep every night, exercising or moving my body every day, and ending the day by watching a TV show that makes me laugh (our current family favorite is Abbot Elementary!) When I’m trying to stay calm when life gets chaotic, I focus on breathing (and noticing that I’m breathing), going out to the front porch for a few minutes (and breathing some more), dropping my shoulders (which are almost up by my ears when I’m stressing out), and turning on a song that makes me happy.
Chris: Awesome thanks for sharing those tips! I’ve been reading through a really interesting book by Jonathan Haidt about the rise of anxiety in young people since the advent of the smartphone. Are there portions of this book that could be applied specifically to technology and social media?
Carla: I haven’t read that book, but yes, smartphones and social media are definitely related to freakouts! The posts and videos on social media can trigger adults and kids alike in a variety of ways, making us more prone to flipping our lids. In addition, if we pull out our smartphones every time we feel bored, anxious, frustrated, and otherwise unhappy, we’ll never figure out what our feelings really feel like and how to respond to them in skillful ways — rather than just losing ourselves in posts and videos that are likely to trigger us further!
Chris: Good call — I find myself often fighting the temptation to jump to my phone whenever I’m bored…love the idea of figuring out what my feelings really feel like! Okay, so what’s next for you as an author? Can you give us any clues about new projects you’re working on?
Carla: I always have a million books bouncing around in my brain. Currently, I’m considering another self-help book for parents, another non-fiction book for kids, or maybe the ever-elusive novel… who knows?
Chris: We’ll be excited to see what comes next! Okay…as always, I like to do a lightning round of questions, so here we go…
Favorite place to write?
My office, preferably with two cats and a seltzer on my desk and a good police procedural playing on my iPad. (I always write with the TV on!)
Favorite authors?
In no particular order: Larry McMurtry, Kimberly Brubaker Bradley, and Sandra Boynton, but I reserve the right to add to that list!
Best desert?
Coffee ice cream with Oreo chunks.
Do you have any pets?
Yes, two rescue cats: Gertie and Gittel. They are incredibly annoying and I can’t even tell you how much I love them.
Favorite elementary school memory?
Garbage Pail Kids, of course! I collected the cards, and they even had one named Carla. Nobody ever has
anything named Carla (except my parents, I guess)!
Favorite piece of advice for other writers:
It’s impossible to write a book that everyone will love, so don’t worry about that. Write the book you love!
Many thanks to Carla for taking some time to chat with the Mixed up Files! You can learn more about Dr. Naumburg on her website, and of course check out How to Stop Freaking Out when it’s released on September 10th. As always, happy reading!
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I just read the E ARC last night and need to review HOW TO STOP FREAKING OUT today. I’ll buy it for my school library, because I do have some students who freak out, and as an older person, I just want to take them aside and tell them to stop embarrassing themselves… which is not the prevailing practice. It was interesting to hear that kids are not taught how to deal with freaking out today, so this book will be very helpful.