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And I would write 500 more. Just to be the author that writes 1,000 words and falls down on the floor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbNlMtqrYS0

Let’s face it. Writing is HARD. Especially now when authors have major distractions like Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other various forms of social networking.  Not only are these things a major time suck, but they open us up for comparisons. It’s hard to avoid these detrimental comparisons when we’re inundated with words and images that remind us we’re not good enough.

And because writing isn’t the only place where I feel like a failure, you’ll need to double click the above image in order to read the microscopic words I’ve so cleverly crafted.

There’s the other part of the inferiority I feel on a daily basis: I’m not agented.  My published books are co-authored by my 13 year old daughter (which I love, but I worry that others may think it’s weird, or think I’m not a “real writer”).  I’m with a small press so there haven’t been reviews. Without reviews its been extremely hard to get my book into schools, let alone the hands of readers. Some days I wonder why I do it. Why do I bother?

Those emotions brought me down so far that I stopped writing.  Last year between my final edits for Cinderskella and my first draft of Little Dead Riding Hood, I wrote nothing. From submitting LDRH to my publisher until January of this year I wrote nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Big fat zero. For NINE MONTHS. I could have – quite literally – given birth during that time. To a book or a baby, choice is yours.  But I didn’t.

Instead, I worried.  Fretted over sales. I wallowed. I compared myself to others. I sulked in self pity.

While I was away from writing, I just sank deeper and deeper. Staying away from writing wasn’t helping me. In fact, it was making things worse.  And seeing updates from other authors definitely contributed to my feelings of failure. Why couldn’t I accomplish what they were? Why wasn’t I making the time for something I enjoyed so much?

Then, sometime during the holiday season, author J. Scott Savage posted a challenge on his Facebook page.  (Yes, in this instance, FB helped!)  He challenged authors to write 500 words a day in the new year.

A little spark lit within me. I could do this! Large goals are always better when broken down into bite sized pieces.  It’s true with anything – education, weight loss, and yes, even writing books. We need to meet little goals in order to achieve the larger one. So instead of thinking about writing a 60,000 word book and being overwhelmed by that concept, I would focus on the little goal of 500 words each day. I even did the calculations. I could write one book in four months. Three books a year.

So, unbeknownst to Scott, I set the goal to write 500 words a day.  I was going to excuse myself on weekends (which would mean my final goal would take a little longer, but I was okay with that).  Five days a week, I was going to sit down and write. All I needed was a half hour.

This is how my first week went:

Day 1 – *stares at blank word doc* Type something. Anything. *types two words* Think! THINK! *types five more* *stares at clock* It’s only been 10 seconds? Good grief! FOCUS! *45 minutes later, 501 painful words are typed*

Day 2 – *stares at previous 501 painful words, sits on hands to prevent from deleting them* Okay. This time DON’T THINK. That’s where you went wrong yesterday. You were thinking TOO hard.  Just type. *30 minutes go by, 621 words are typed*

Day 3 – *refuses to stare at screen* Don’t read what you wrote. You know it’s garbage. It doesn’t matter. Just write. *30 quick minutes later, 1,250 words are typed*

Day 4 – *remembers scene, eagerly gets to work* *60 minutes later, 2,500 words are typed*

Day 5 – * opens document, fingers itching to start* *90 minutes later, 3,200 words are typed*

It speaks for itself, really. I found that once I forced myself to sit down and write, the words flowed. Sure, there were tough days, (and there still are) but I’m writing again! I’m excited about my stories! I’ve set an easy goal and I’m able to reach it each day.

This goal has taught me a lot about myself, too.

1 – I don’t have to write every day.  (This recent post from Nathan Bransford helped confirm that.) Yup. It’s okay not to write on weekends. Or when I’m sick. Or if my day is super busy. Just as long as I get back in the saddle as soon as I can, it’s okay to take a day off.

2 – Every part of writing – whether it be storyboarding, plotting, or  creating characters – matters. Even though word count isn’t increasing or progressing, that’s okay. The story is! I allow myself to take credit for every step of the journey.

3 – My accomplishments are my own and I don’t need to compare myself to others.

I love what I’ve learned about writing, about myself, during this process.  I’m going to keep on keeping on with my 500 words a day because I see progress. I’ve felt my inner growth. And that’s what matters most.

What about you? What kinds of goals have you set? What helps you as a writer? I’d love to hear your comments and ideas!

Amie Borst is a PAL member of SCBWI. She writes twisted fairy tales with her 13 year old daughter, Bethanie. She’s writes 500 words a day, even if they’re terrible. Find her at her blog, facebook, twitter, and pinterest. Add her books on goodreads!

Hello Mixed-Up Filers!

How is everybody? I know many of you are saying to yourselves, “Whoa, Jonathan, are you sure it’s time for you to go again? I mean, it’s only been two months since your last post!”

I know! Believe me, I was shocked too. I wasn’t expecting to go before sometime in July. But, since they surprised me and let me go now, here we go.

This is an unusual post, (well, aren’t they all?) in the fact that I am not writing about any books in particular, but just about a state of mind and a process. It actually hit me because of Baseball Spring Training. I love baseball. It’s my favorite sport. So much more strategy than in any other game. People who think otherwise, please don’t write me to disagree, because you’re wrong. But anyway, the thing about baseball and spring training, is that it’s a rebirth. The previous season has died and is no more. So, all the teams technically have a fresh start. As I said, it’s a state of mind. Anything is possible. Now, realistically we know that teams like the Marlins and Astros have zero shot of winning the World Series this year, but in Spring Training, it’s a magical time where we believe that anything is possible. Heck, I even get optimistic about my New York Mets, well that is until the season starts and I come crashing back down to earth and curse the fates for making me a Met fan, but still, we believe that miracles can happen. And why not? That’s what this is about. That’s what I find happening to me with regard to writing.

A rebirth. My rebirth.

Now, I know that New Year’s is usually the time to get that sense of rebirth and new beginnings, but it doesn’t work that way for me. And I think the reason why is because New Year’s is still winter. I know, I know. I live in Florida. The people panic here when it reaches the 50’s, but it IS still winter. Even though it’s more of a state of mind than a grey-sky, cold weather thing, it IS still winter. I mean, we’ve just finished up hearing Christmas songs on the radio and making resolutions, so that frame of mind does exist. But when baseball returns, my mental switch changes. It’s time to get out of the winter doldrums and get a sense of renewal. As I said, a rebirth.

For those who know me, you know that I am an extremely private person. EXTREMELY. I don’t like to share things, especially private things. But, I realize that I did just that in my last post at New Year’s and I am doing it now. It’s because writing is such a personal thing, those natural feelings tend to come out. In the back of my mind, I do realize that other people are going to read this, and knowing my comments section after I post, it’s around one or two other people, but I do know. Still, you can’t help the personal feelings from coming out. So, again for those who know, I had a very down year. Life happens. Issues with the health of my parents, some thisclose misses with writing, and the fact that I was currently working on a dark story, which had a lot more to do with feelings aof concern for my parents than I cared for, sent me to a place where I didn’t write. I just couldn’t. I was in a place where I couldn’t find the inner strength. Inside I knew that those who don’t write have a very difficult time getting published, weird how that works, huh? But I still couldn’t get myself to go. I mean, I didn’t stop entirely, but the passion I always have in losing myself in it, waned.

Until recently. That’s the new season to me. The rebirth. I’ve been sitting and writing and have that spark again. It’s not a psychosomatic thing, or maybe it is, but either way, I again found that passion to lose myself in my stories. And embrace it. It’s spring, a time for new beginnings.

A renewal.

A rebirth.

Anything is possible in a rebirth. This is the time. We are made new again. Miracles are possible. It is time to embrace the possibilities once again.

Get back to the story you let go. Get back to the feelings you once had for it. Get the passion back.

This is your time.

Anyone have anything similar? Would love to hear from others about how they revitalize themselves.