For Kids

Neither Pink nor Perfect: Muddy and Mighty Middle Grade Girls

My eight year old daughter is always filthy.

Her coat, her boots, even fingernails seem to be dirt-magnets. She comes home from school in her mis-matched clothes (picked out by her self of course), with her face flushed and her ponytails crooked or falling out. And I have to stop myself from obsessing. Most of the time I fail, bemoaning, “Why is your coat dirty again?” “Yuck, go wash your hands,” or “Those boots are NOT getting into my car!”

The funny thing is, she’s not a particularly sporty girl — not someone who would be called (if you use this sort of anachronism) a ‘tomboy.’ Rather, she happens to go to a school where children are allowed to be children. Where she builds fairy houses out of moss and sticks at recess, brews ‘witches potions’ out of mud and leaves, run around and does cartwheels. These are all things I believe are good, and important for both girls and boys. And when my son comes home in the same filthy state, my first reaction is to say “Well, looks like you’ve been playing hard.” Yet, my instinctual reaction is not always the same for my daughter.

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our cultural expectations for girls to be clean. Not just clean, but prim, proper, quiet, well behaved and well presented. And I’m realizing it’s part and parcel of the ‘pinkification’ of girlhood – what Peggy Orenstein wrote about in her book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie Girl Culture. Now, don’t get me wrong, as a pediatrician/mom/writer, I’m certainly not recommending we don’t wash hands before meals or skip showers. But there is already such a psychological pressure on young girls to interact with the world and present their bodies in certain ways — ways that have to do with cultural expectations for female sexuality, not a hearty, healthy and body-loving girlhood (or womanhood!). These expectations of perfection aren’t just unrealistic, they’re potentially damaging of self esteem and psychological as well as physical well being, as Courtney E. Martin asserts in her groundbreaking Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: How the Quest for Perfection is Harming Young Women.

Yet, there is a cultural pushback happening. Consider that in 2012 Maine eighth grader Julia Bluhm circulated a petition asking Seventeen Magazine to stop Photoshopping and airbrushing images of models, arguing that photographs of perfect skin, hair, and rail thin bodies were unhealthy for young people’s self-esteem. Her petition gained national media attention, and even inspired a protest in front of Seventeen’s offices. Pro-body image websites like Adios, Barbie  urge young women to join the ‘body loving revolution.’ Other sites including Princess-Free Zone and A Mighty Girl do everything from posting parenting articles, to making lists of ‘independent princesses’ in media and books, to selling empowering clothing, including superhero undies, for ‘smart, confident and courageous’ girls.

And of course, there’s always the world of middle grade books! I mean, who can forget the fantabulous role model of Astrid Lindgren’s Pippi Longstocking, the ultimate brave-hearted, strong, adventurous, horizontal braided, mis-matched stocking wearing middle grade heroine? Part of Pippi’s appeal (and Lindgren’s ‘before her time’ genius), in fact, is her ability to shirk feminine conventions, arm-wrestle grown men, rescue animals, climb roofs and out-smart dastardly pirates.

Or what about Beverly Cleary’s Ramona the Pest? A protagonist whose raw-egg-on-the-head and rainboot wearing antics earned her the love of generations of readers. I think it’s noteworthy that Ramona, not her rather perfect sister Beezus, is the engine that drives the ‘Ramona and Beezus’ books. We love Ramona not because she’s perfect, but because she’s spunky — in the end we love her because she loves herself.

In more recent books of this genre, both Sarah Pennypacker’s Clementine series and the Marty McGuire books by Kate Messner feature strong girl protagonists not afraid to do a few cartwheels or get some dirt under their nails. Need to get glue out of your hair (and don’t mind getting a new, erm, haircut)? Need to figure out how to get frogs out of the pond at recess? These are your girls.


Or what about a muddy and mighty heroine who puts her spunkiness to professional use? Look no further than the acrobatic daredevil Kate Wetherall of Trenton Lee Stewart’s The Mysterious Benedict Society. Not only is this protagonist brilliant and brave, but she always carries a bucket full of items useful for any kid spy — like glue, nylon rope, a slingshot and a spyglass disguised as a cheap kaleidoscope.

These neither pink nor perfect heroines give an alternate narrative of girlhood for young readers negotiating their way through the maze of princesses and pinkness. I’m not saying that princesses are necessarily bad – hey, I have a pretty spunky princess in my current work in progress, and I know lots of fellow writers who are using and subverting notions of ‘princesses’ and ‘perfection.’ Yet, in the wider culture, the association remains. Although Disney has made attempts to re-brand the notion of ‘princess’ as one of self-sufficiency, not helplessness and passivity, the fact remains that we’ve begun to substitute the word ‘princess’ for ‘girl’ in our culture and I’m not sure that this is healthy for either girls or boys, for either parents or children. I’m not saying that I really want either my son or daughter tracking mud through my newly cleaned kitchen, but in the end — I do want them both to be happy with and healthy in their bodies. And know their bodies belong to them — not a broader consumer-driven culture. Anyway, thinking we can always be perfect is not only impossible and limiting, it’s a major drag! (Just ask Ramona or Pippi or Clementine!)

So, dear readers, what do you think? The last time I asked you to suggest some of your favorite girl-driven fantasy novels, you came up with a breathtaking list.

Who are your favorite muddy and mighty middle grade girl protagonists?

 Sayantani DasGupta is not a princess, and far from perfect. Besides writing fiction for middle-grade kids, and teaching about issues of narrative and social justice to graduate students, she also writes for Adios, Barbie (www.adiosbarbie.com). She likes to think about the connection between stories, activism, and justice, and is trying to learn from her children to love being muddy. She thanks her wonderful colleagues at From the Mixed Up Files for their helpful suggestions of books for this essay!

Indie Spotlight: The Red Balloon, St. Paul MN

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Sue Cowing for MIXED-UP FILES:  Since it’s founding twenty-eight years ago, the Red Balloon Bookshop  (www.redballoonbookshop.com) has become famous among writers and readers as a top-notch children’s book store.  Today we’re talking with the shop’s new owner, Holly Weinkauf.

MUF:  Minneapolis-St. Paul must be a community of readers to sustain so many bookstores!  What is the Red Balloon’s particular appeal to those readers do you think?
HOLLY: Red Balloon Bookshop is in Saint Paul.  Even though Minneapolis – Saint Paul is really one big city, people who live here have strong neighborhood loyalty.  And fortunately we are in a community that supports the arts and literature and supports local businesses.

screenshot_684We are in a beautiful and very walkable neighborhood (when it’s not below freezing!) We provide great storytimes, author events and many other fun ways to engage kids and grown-ups with books.Our customers know they can come here to discover new books or find old favorites.  They know that when they come in we will be happy to help them find what they are looking for, make suggestions, and have a great conversation with them about books or anything else.  Everyone at Red Balloon loves connecting people of all ages with books.

MUF: What was it like to take over the reins of such a well-known and beloved shop?  What plans do you have for its future?
HOLLY: Exciting and a bit overwhelming.  I’ve learned a lot and continue to learn.  When I became the owner I knew and still know this is what I want to be doing.  Red Balloon is a combination of all of my passions – books and stories, children, families, community and small independent business.

A Hobbit celebration

A Hobbit celebration

While Red Balloon is well known and has strong community support, I’m surprised by the number of people who don’t know about us. Usually those are people who are new to the Twin Cities. One of the things we’ve been working on is letting people know we are here, reminding people we are here, and letting them all know that we have new energy at the store.

I’m excited to build on the strong bookstore community that Michele Cromer – Poire and Carol Erdahl began 28 years ago.  Red Balloon will continue to be a welcoming and inspiring place for everyone who loves children’s and YA books.

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RAVEN BOYS and their girl fans, with author Maggie Stiefvater

MUF: What do customers see and experience when they walk into The Red Balloon?  On the days between events, the browsing days, how do you go about connecting customers with books they will love?
HOLLY: We make a point of welcoming everyone who walks through our door.  We have a well -lit and colorful space with fun displays.  To connect people with the right books, we talk with them and we have shelf talkers and displays highlighting particular books for certain readers.  When a regular customer comes in, we often know what sorts of things he or she will like and we can show them what’s new.  We also send out a monthly newsletter with our events and a few book reviews and we connect with people on Facebook and Twitter sharing interesting book related info.screenshot_677

MUF: How do you “curate” the books you sell in your shop?  What do you keep an eye out for?
HOLLY: This is something we’re constantly working to get a better handle on.  We look at each section, what’s selling and what’s not, what do we have too much of what do we need more of…. and what do we know our customers like.

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William Alexander reads from GHOULISH SONG

MUF: We’re authors, so we just have to ask: what titles, fiction or nonfiction, do you and your staff most often recommend these days to middle-graders who come to The Red Balloon?
HOLLY: All of us who work at Red Balloon have our favorites and what we recommend changes depending on who we’re talking to and what’s new.  But most recently we’ve enjoyed selling William Alexander’s books.  Not only is his story a great story, a debut local author wins the National Book Award, but all of us at the store who’ve read Goblin’s Secret and Ghoulish Song have really enjoyed them.

MUF: Over the years, some of the most exciting children’s authors have appeared at The Red Balloon, and many of their books have made their debuts at your shop. In a few weeks you’ll be hosting the launch of an exciting new book of novel-like nonfiction called Wild Boy by Fairy Ring author Mary Losure, right?

WILD BOY publication party, Saturday April 13th at 2 pm.

WILD BOY publication party, Saturday April 13th at 2 pm.

HOLLY: We are definitely looking forward to celebrating Mary Losure’s book!  Events like these are another way we help connect people with books and have those terrific book related conversations.  Amy Oelkers, our Events Coordinator, does a great job of adding something special and unique to each of our events.

I truly enjoy the events we do with local authors and illustrators. It’s great to see grown-ups and kids excited about our local talent (we have a lot!) The local authors and illustrators often have a number of family and friends who come to the events and that definitely adds to the community feel of Red Balloon.

MUF: What are your plans for World Book Night, April 23rd?  What other organizations and community events does The Red Balloon get involved in?
HOLLY: We have a few givers who pick up their books at Red Balloon and we will have a reception for them.  We partner with many, many community organizations throughout the year.  This month we worked with an organization called Success Beyond the Classroom for an amazing “Young Authors” conference.  In April we will be working with the Minnesota Youth Reading Awards to promote the Maud Heart Lovelace Award.

MUF: We encourage our Mixed-up Files readers, especially those who live in towns without an independent bookstore, to make children’s bookstores a day-trip destination.  For those visiting The Red Balloon from out of town, are there family-friendly places nearby where they can get a bit to eat after browsing?  Anything else unique in the neighborhood they should be sure to see?screenshot_671
HOLLY: We are in a terrific day-trip destination neighborhood. Our beautiful, historic neighborhood has lots of great shops.  Bread & Chocolate is a few doors down from us with sandwiches, cookies, coffee, etc. Grand Ole Creamery is nearby for ice cream, Tru Berry for yogurt, and Creative Kids Stuff for toys.  You can learn more about our shopping district at http://www.grandave.com.

Downtown St. Paul is just a few minutes away with both the Minnesota Children’s Museum and the Science Museum of Minnesota.

MUF:  Thank you so much, Holly, for taking the time to visit and answer questions about your shop.  Readers, have you been to The Red Balloon? heard about it? think you’d like to go?   Please leave comments here for Holly  and other readers and/or share some children’s bookstore experiences.  Notice I don’t have to say independent children’s bookstores, because they’re all independent!

 

Sue Cowing lives in Honolulu and is the author of the puppet-and-boy novel YOU WILL CALL ME DROG (Carolrhoda 2011, Usborne UK 2012)

 

 

Wisdom from the Second Grade: Writers’ Tools

One of the things I love about school visits is that I get to go to classrooms all over the country and meet wonderful students and teachers. There are some comforting universals to a grade school classroom: a certain amount of clutter, a map, the alphabet along the wall. And then there are delightful surprises: a pet iguana, a stunning view of the wilderness, a reading loft, a tank of salmon fry to be released in a local stream, a flag flown by a student’s father over his army camp in Afghanistan. It’s a window into the thoughts and values of the community I’m visiting.

I recently visited a second grade classroom where I saw two student made posters on the wall. The first was titled Writer’s Tools in the Hand. Underneath was an illustrated list: paper, pencil, eraser, dictionary, word list, and illustration tools. It was a good reminder to take a moment before I begin my writing session of the day to have all the tools I need at hand. I especially liked the word list idea. I know many teachers help their students brainstorm a list of likely words before they start a writing assignment. Though I don’t need that technique, I have used a variation of it. Every writer has word habits, words or phrases that pop up more often than they should. I have about a half dozen that I lean on more than I should, so I make a word list of them and post it over my workspace to remind me to make stronger word choices and not lean over much on the familiar.

It was the second poster that really struck me though. It was titled: Writers’ Tools in the Head and Heart. The list included: thinking, good ideas, awareness, fun attitude, information, concentration, quiet or silence.

There are so many things to love about that list, and perhaps most importantly that writing well engages both the head and the heart. I love it that thinking comes before good ideas, an excellent reminder. Sometimes I have to think about a scene for days, even months, before I have a good idea about how to fix it.

Awareness is a tricky idea, I asked a group of the 2nd graders who had made the poster what they thought awareness meant. They said that it meant you should pay attention to all your ideas about a story not just the shiny, easy ideas that were in the last story you read. Excellent advice!

Fun attitude might just be the best advice of all though. If my writing isn’t going well, it’s almost always because I’ve lost the joy of it. Loss of joy may not be the cause of bad writing, but it is at least the reliable companion of bad writing. And when I change to a more positive and playful outlook, the writing reliably improves.

Information and concentration are ideas I’ve been learning to use as a pair. I love research so much, I could spend all my time chasing the next dazzling fact and completely lose track of my story in my zeal to fill it up with the amazing details I’ve learned. But sometimes what I need is not more information but concentration on the research I’ve already done.

Finally I love it that quiet and silence are not the same thing. Sometimes I need absolute silence for a particular task. Reminding myself to turn off the music for the duration of the task helps. Other times I just need the quiet of my brain focusing on just one thing, not email, not social networks, not housework or snacks but simply the quiet of letting myself be a writer and nothing else for a few hours–a true gift!

So how about you? Do you have a favorite tool of the hand, head, or heart? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.