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Some thoughts on Writing and RITUALS

Writers are known to have rituals. Light a candle, sit in your favourite chair, arrange your paperclips at right angles, and only then can/will the the magic at the keyboard begin.

I’m not exactly kidding. Patricia Highsmith apparently started her writing sessions off with a stiff drink; Truman Capote claimed he could only write when horizontal, coffee and a cigarette in hand; Haruki Murakami has said that when he is writing a novel he wakes at 4 am and works for five or six hours straights, runs or swims in the afternoon, and goes to bed by 9 pm. 

 

I do have a Pavlovian response when I hear the opening bars of Mozart’s Sonata for Piano and Violin in G, K.301:2. Allegro

As a mother of four kids running a busy home, however, I can’t really afford to get too picky about a lot of that stuff. Mostly I need to do whatever I can to carve out time, and try and use it to the best of my ability. That includes: not peeking at the myriad tabs open as I compare ballet tights, dog food, birthday gifts, name labels on sale, other items on sale; ignoring pinging from any number of WhatsApp groups re: carpools, playdates, football training; not scheduling doctor/dentist/hairdresser appointments; and not checking something else off the endless to-do list. I do have music that I like to listen to when I write. With Honey and Me I basically listened to a Mozart for Morning Coffee CD I had from my kids until eventually technology advanced but I was still slogging away and I switched to Mozart for Study playlists on Spotify. I don’t actually know anything about classical music, but when I hear the opening bars of Sonata for Piano and Violin in G, K.301:2. Allegro my mind jumps to my characters Milla and Honey and their world. 

But I can also write in cafes, on airplanes and anywhere there’s white noise rather than the mom-specific noise of someone asking me what’s for dinner or have I seen their shin pads. 

There is one ritual I do have though. It’s not exclusive, meaning I can write without it and otherwise go about my day. But it does bring me joy and internal structure—an expectation of what I’m meant to be doing— and there’s something to be said for that. 

My ritual is: mugs.

The first thing to know is that I drink tea all day long. Green tea until 2 pm. And then chamomile, and sometimes rooibos or mint. But that’s not really the important part. The important ritualistic part is which mug I am drinking said tea in. I used to have two. One has Elvis Presley on it. It comes from an Elvis-themed truck stop on the road between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv. It was purchased for me by a taxi driver who took me from Tel Aviv to the cemetery just outside Jerusalem where my friend had buried her son; waited for me during the service, standing on the outskirts with a kippa from his glove compartment; and then took me back to my children waiting for me at a hotel in Tel Aviv before we returned to London later that day. But first he wanted to show me the Elvis truck stop and bought me a cup of tea with the mug as a souvenir. 

 The Elvis mug

This is the mug I use when it is family time. When I’m using that mug I am not wishing that I could be sitting at my computer. I am counting my blessings for my family and their health— mental and physical. Even when I’m making four different dinners. Even in the depths of lockdown where boundaries in general did not seem to exist. When I take out that mug it’s a choice and a statement that I will try to be in the moment with my family and whatever needs doing for them, and not trying to split my time between my writing and them, giving not enough to either.

The writing mugs (Parts I and II)

My second mug used to be a Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators mug. Purchased by me, for me, at an SCBWI British Isles conference many years ago, this was my work mode mug. When I was using that mug it meant that I did not want to be called by school to come get my sick child. Alas, sometimes that was the case. Because that’s life. But taking out that mug was a choice and a gesture that this writing part of me was important and deserved space. 

 

Unfortunately, a few months ago this mug broke. Don’t ask me how, no one will tell me. My husband glued the handle back on but a chunk was missing. I was going through a Harry Styles thing (I mean, who wasn’t?) and my older daughter, both mortified and milking it for laugh-at-mom value bought me a “You’re So Golden” mug as a replacement work mug. It’s a good one, although it’s a bit more irreverent and less earnest than the SCBWI one. I use it for work, but also sometimes when I need a bit of pep. It should also be said that since my book was published, I have found the definition of work to be different. Rather than just going into my home office to write, I am suddenly running another small business — essentially a marketing and PR firm for my book. It is such different and unexpected work. But perhaps that’s another blog post.

The author mode mug

The point is the lines have been blurred a bit and luckily I now have a THIRD mug which is taking its ritualistic place in my life. Just before Honey and Me was published I got a mystery package in the mail, with handwriting that was extremely familiar but too out of context to place, especially because it had been so long since I’d last seen it. To my shock and utter delight, it was a mug made into the jacket cover of Honey and Me, sent from my oldest best friend Stephanie. I still can’t get over it. It’s hard to say how much this mug means to me. Having the love and support of my friends for one thing. Having a friend who has known me since I was four. Having written a book about friendship and to feel this support from my own friend. Seeing the jacket cover on a mug and feeling OMG this is real, I am about to be a published author. There’s probably more to it that I can’t even harness and pick out the strands of what and how much it means to me, but basically I suspect I have written this whole blog post as an excuse to show off this mug!

So the Honey and Me mug I use when I am in what I think I will call “author mode.” Sometimes I am afraid to take it out lest I drop it and break it. Say what you will about the fragility with which I consider this new mode of being for me: “author.” Other times I sip from it proudly or at least try to own it. The book is published and I am proud of it. I love how people are connecting to it. I love talking to kids who have read it! And it’s been an added surprise and bonus to talk to all the  adults who have read it and related to it, no matter their background.

All I know is, I hope my mugs don’t break. I hope that people everywhere love my book. I hope I have more books in me. I hope my family stays safe. Even without my mugs these are my hopes and fears. 

Ritual shmitual. 

It’s Almost Spring! Bringing Books to Life in the Great Outdoors

Whether the children in your lives are eager lovers of literature or more reluctant readers, finding ways to bring books to life with outdoor activities can be a fun way to encourage thoughtful reading practices and to make books even more engaging. Below are a few ideas for how you might create activities to bring the events of a novel to life for the young readers in your life.

 

Nest, by Esther Ehrlich, can be adapted into real-life activities in many ways. Set in the 1970’s, this is the story of a family dealing with mental illness. Despite these heavier tones, there’s still a lot of joy in the story from which to pull inspiration. Young readers could go birdwatching just like the main character Chirp and look up the birds they spot in a field guide. Similarly, Chirp creates a dance routine to the song Help! by the Beatles. Young readers can do this too. It doesn’t need to be anything professional or elaborate but getting up and moving to a song (Beatles or not) provides a lot of physical fun and memorizing a dance routine is a good brain exercise, too! And it’s even more fun if it’s performed outdoors.

 

Book Jacket for Time of the Fireflies

Kimberley Griffiths Little’s novel The Time of the Fireflies also provides more opportunities for readers to engage more fully with the novel.  A picnic dinner to watch fireflies would be ideal for bringing Larissa’s story to life. Other  ideas for bringing her book to life include exploring one’s family history through word of mouth or old pictures and objects or, like Larissa, experience some time travel. Pick a year, help your readers do some research, and then spend an hour or two as though you’ve slipped through time!

 

Winner of the Newberry medal, The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate, by Jacqueline Kelly, is another novel rich in the natural world and centered around a loveable, strong female protagonist. Readers of Calpurnia’s story can follow in her footsteps by exploring their yards, neighborhoods, or local parks with a notebook and pencil in hand. Walk slowly and observe with all the senses, taking notes and making sketches of what kinds of flora and fauna are found. A field guide could come in handy for this as well, as some young readers  might want to learn the scientific names of plants and animals they observe. This is a great activity to encourage mindfulness, art skills, and offer a foray into being a naturalist.

 

The First Last Day, by Dorian Cirrone, is also perfect as the weather is warming up. Main character Haleigh finds herself in the midst of a never-ending summer…literally! One activity to bring this novel to life is to encourage young readers to paint memories of their favorite days or to keep a journal of their life through paintings. The passage of time might not freeze as it does for Haleigh, but this is a great way to encourage artistic creativity as well as personal reflection. Other art supplies and mediums can be added or substituted, too.

 

Finally, in my novel, Smack Dab in the Middle of Maybe, the main character Cricket goes on a wilderness adventure to try to find her mother. A series of clues leads the way. There are several ways Smack Dab could be brought to life, but one idea is to create a clue-based scavenger hunt for your young readers to solve. This could be as simple as leaving hand-written notes with riddles or descriptions that lead from one location to the next. You can also create more complicated clue trails involving cyphers or clues that relate to poetry or history. Even better if the clues incorporate the outdoors or wilderness! A small prize could be added at the end of the clues or simply solving the scavenger hunt can be the victory. Plus, older kids could orchestrate clues for one another. You can find some activities here.

 

These are a few ideas to get started. Once you start reading with potential outdoor adventures in mind, the sky is the limit. –literally.  Happy reading!

Finding 40: How to Discover Critique Partners and Elevate Your Writing

A few weeks ago my wife and I had a parent-teacher conference for our son in kindergarten. Overall it was a lovely meeting — he’s reading and writing and learning how to take care of worms. But when we got on the subject of math, the teacher’s bright expression faltered just briefly as she said, “There is one area where we’re still having some trouble.” She then explained that when our son counts, he has a habit of reaching the number 39, then jumping back to 20.

My wife and I digested this new revelation, both of us trying to remember when we’d ever asked him to count to 40 (I’m all for the functional application of kindergarten math, but I don’t think we have 40 of anything in our house). To prove her point, the teacher called to him on the other side of the room, and sure enough, he shouted back, “37…38…39…20…21…”

“There you go,” she said to us with a slight shrug. But then she did the teacher thing and helped him on the spot, talking him through the numbers until he broke through the invisible wall between 39 and 40. If she hadn’t intervened, I wonder if we might still be in that conference listening to him count.

We all get stuck sometimes, and I’m especially prone to this tendency in my writing. My plot hits a snag or I can’t get a character motivation quite right, and it’s like getting caught in a loop. I’m missing something, but since I don’t know what it is, I’m stuck repeating the same mistakes and landing in the same place I started. I need someone like my son’s kindergarten teacher to shout the numbers from across the room so I can figure out where I’ve gone wrong. For most writers, this takes the form of a critique partner or a critique group. They’re the people in our lives who listen to us count and tell us when we’ve accidentally skipped back to 20. 

But getting connected with critique partners can be a daunting task. It’s not as simple as  walking into a parent-teacher conference and knowing that the person on the other side of the desk is uniquely equipped to help you solve your problems. And what’s worse — these aren’t just meaningless numbers. They’re words…your words. Words you probably spent months or even years poring over and fine-tuning. I’ve been there. I know it’s scary. But it’s not as scary as being stuck at the number 39 and never even realizing it, so take the leap with me and consider these options to help you break out of the loop and find the number 40.

 

SCBWI Local Critique Groups

If you’re a member of SCBWI (The Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators), you may not have realized that it’s one of the best places to get involved in a critique group. Start by reaching out to your local chapter, since every region does things slightly differently. There’s also the SCBWI blueboard, which can be a little challenging to navigate, but does provide a forum for getting connected with other authors. I actually found two or three long-time critique partners through the Blueboard, one of whom eventually connected me with my literary agent!

 

Facebook Groups

Even with all the other social media options out there, Facebook remains one of the best ways for writers to connect, get advice, and collaborate with fellow creators. There are even a few groups that exist almost entirely for the purpose of exchanging manuscripts and critiques. My favorite for this purpose is Kidlit411 manuscript swap but there is also Middle Grade Fictions Writers, where authors often post looking for critique swaps or beta readers. 

 

The Writer’s Match

This highly organized system developed by Megan Taraszkiewicz was created with the purpose of connecting like-minded writers. It’s completely free and could be a great way to establish some new critique partnerships that are tailored to your specific interests and needs.

 

Critique Circle

Critique Circle is one of the most equitable ways to give and receive feedback. Writers earn credits by critiquing others’ work, which can then be applied to posting work and receiving feedback. When using the system, I always found that reading the work of others was just as valuable as the credits, since giving critiques can often be just as insightful as getting them!

 

Additional Lists and Resources

I’m hardly the first author to compile this information, and there are plenty of other blogs and articles that cover the topic. A few of my favorites include Carrie Finison‘s very helpful (and much more comprehensive) list of critique resources, as well as Jane Friedman’s article on how to find the right critique group. 

 

I hope this list has helped you find some motivation to get others in front of your work. It’s been a revelation for me, and I know I’m not the only one who found a jolt of new energy and progress after summoning the courage to let someone else take a peek at that beloved but oh-so-flawed manuscript. You can do it! In fact, let’s practice together right now:

37…38…39…